Relationships : Protect Your Relationships
Nowhere in the United States do lesbian and gay relationships get the same recognition that married couples do. Massachusetts allows gay people to marry, and a few states recognize civil unions and domestic partnerships that fall short of marriage, but the federal government doesn't recognize these relationships.
That means the host of rights and protections that most married couples
enjoy―from hospital visitation and inheritance rights to significant
tax benefits―aren't made available by the law to most same-sex
couples.
Fortunately, there are legal steps anyone can take to protect joint
assets and determine who is to make important medical and other
decisions in the event of death or disability.
This section will give you information on ways to protect your
relationship outside of the comprehensive protections of marriage,
civil unions, or domestic partnership. For information about marriage,
civil union, and domestic partnership laws, visit our section on
Current Laws. However, even if you plan to get married or enter into a
civil union or domestic partnership, it is still wise to take the steps
to ensure your relationship with your partner will be honored and
protected.
Getting Started
While planning for situations such as death or disability is relatively easy and inexpensive, taking the time and effort to legally protect your relationship is something that many couples put off. It can be a very difficult topic to think about, much less discuss with your partner. All too often, planning for death or illness is an issue many couples choose to ignore until it's too late. But like many difficult tasks, once you've made the effort to put everything in order, there's a tremendous sense of relief in knowing that you and your partner will be protected in the event of an emergency or accident.
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Last Will and Testament
While no one likes to dwell on the inevitable, it's better to be prepared than not. A will lets you, and not the state, decide ahead of time how you want your assets to be distributed after your death. If you die without a will, the distribution of your assets is controlled by law. The rules vary somewhat from state to state, but generally your assets would be divided among your closest living relatives. Since most states don't recognize lesbian and gay relationships, your property would not pass to your surviving partner.
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Power of Attorney
A power of attorney is a document that allows you to dictate who you would like to make decisions on your behalf. While there are many useful purposes for a power of attorney, they are especially important to lesbian and gay couples when a partner becomes incapacitated and unable to make decisions. In such situations, the law usually designates the incapacitated person's next of kin as the decision maker. With a power of attorney, lesbian and gay couples can give their partners the power to make such decisions.
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Living Will
A living will (also referred to as a directive to physicians, health care declaration and medical directive) allows you to make decisions about your medical treatment should you become so ill that you are only being kept alive by life support systems. While a health care power of attorney allows you to decide who you want making medical decisions on your behalf, your agent would not be able to make the ultimate decision to shut off life support. However, most states now give you the power to specify through a living will under what circumstances you would want to discontinue treatment and shut off the machines keeping you alive artificially. The living will may be incorporated into the health care power of attorney.
Hospital Visitation Authorization
Many hospitals limit visitation solely to "family" members. To ensure that you and your partner are able to visit each other during a hospital stay, particularly if one of you is in intensive care, both partners should execute a hospital visitation authorization. The document should be readily available as you may be required to show it to hospital personnel before being allowed to visit your partner. This authorization can be incorporated into a health care power of attorney.
