With so few states recognizing same-sex relationships, and so many pledged (through constitutional amendments and laws) not to recognize them, the prospects for securing relationship protections may look bleak. They’re not as bad as you might think. Public opinion is changing for the better. In many states, supporting relationship recognition is no longer a barrier to getting elected. The cry of “activist judge,” meant to shame judges who are simply doing their jobs and interpreting the law fairly, is weakening. Legislators are realizing that protecting committed couples and their families is good policy, and the fair thing to do. Though marriage is legal in one state, Massachusetts, a growing number of states have enacted comprehensive civil union and domestic partnership laws to protect same-sex couples and their families. The tide is turning.

The manual that follows provides basic, essential information for any person or group thinking about waging a grassroots effort for a domestic partnership policy or law. It tells you how to make choices about the type of domestic partnership policy you should push for, how to make the case, and how to write the proposed policy or law. It’s based on a book written by ACLU LGBT Project Director Matt Coles, Try This at Home! A Do-It-Yourself Guide To Winning Lesbian and Gay Civil Rights (New Press, 1996). Although focused on domestic partnerships, some of this manual will be useful to advocates for marriage or civil unions.